Life is filled with challenges that offer opportunities for improvement. Like any other skill that you can work at and improve over time, you can improve at confronting and overcoming life's many challenges. As you gain greater insight and expertise, you can ultimately master your own life. Life is a project; it has a definite beginning and end.
Resolving life's challenges provides the motivation and inspiration to face new challenges. If there were no challenges, people would not strive to find the creative solutions that pave the way to a rich, full life.
The emphasis here is on "creativity." In our daily lives, we are constantly faced with changes and challengesa fact that can make us feel uncomfortable. At first, we may feel like retreating, but we will have to face those changes one way or another. When we choose to face change proactively, we often find that whatever is happening is actually an opportunity for renewal.
There is an ancient Chinese saying that says, "If the old doesn't go, the new cannot come." From this perspective, we can view difficult events as a shedding of the old so that we can grow. We come to see such events as "renewals" instead of "endings."
To understand life, understand these fundamental concepts.
Life Fundamentals
Most people think that happiness means having more money, more respect, more fame and, perhaps, more power over their lives or the lives of others.
We may think that our life is not complete for one reason or another, but even if we get what we think we desire, we might not celebrate that achievement for long. We can quickly start thinking about how to achieve something new.
Our desires continually project us into the future, as the desiring mind never reaches its goal. You can acquire everything that you desire, but your mind always finds more to desire, more to be had.
Desire for more is a basic nature of the human mind, so if you always hunger after something more, then it is best to set higher goals. What better goal than a noble cause? Religion, service to others, arts, and culture are some of the best vocations of life.
Look back at the many things you have wanted. Perhaps you thought at one time that if you had a relationship with a certain woman or man, you would be happy. And say that you now are with that person. Are you really happy or going to be happy? No. You start finding fault with the person once you get to know him or her and may even discover that you now wish you had not chosen to be with that person.
In my counseling, I teach lessons about the totality of being, not perfection. These are two different goals. While perfection is a neurotic goal, totality is a sane goal. Perfection is an impossible future; totality is here and now. You can be total in this moment. You can be total in your anger, or in whatever you are doingcleaning the floor or cooking food or writing poetry. You can be total in this moment! There is no need for any preparation.
Remember that life is everything.
Chuck came to America from India three years ago. He had lost his job, he was experiencing terrible communication problem, and after six months, he had not found a new job. A friend of mine asked me to call him. When I talked to him, he was severely depressed and crying like a baby. I helped him realize the essence of life by saying, "All parts of life must be lived, both the moments of suffering and the moments of happiness." This helped him to find courage and to fight back. Today, he has a permanent job and lives peacefully.
You cannot choose which part of your life you live. You will have moments of happiness and moments of suffering. Both must be experienced, and you cannot choose one over the other. Life must have both or its uniformity, and life itself, will be lost.
The beauty of life is in its variety. Sound and silence are opposite but equal events. Sound and silence create music; the length of the notes and silences between them create the rhythm. The same is true with life. Suffering and happiness are necessary opposites.
Shanti was a millionaire who lived in Canada. She had been running a busy textile business with her husband, and they had two children. Then she lost her husband in an accident. She had loved her husband unconditionally and was struggling with both her sorrow and her desire to move forward in her life. She felt depressed, tired, and confused.
I helped her to "download" all her negative feelings and suggested that she meditate. The moment that she started doing meditation, she started to find balance in her life. Today, she has remarried and opened two more shops.
If you come to understand that life is a total of opposites and that this is the only way life functions, you do not need to choose. In not choosing, there is no need to adhere to any outcome, and there is no meaning in adhering. When suffering comes, you withstand the suffering, and when happiness comes to you, you enjoy the happiness.
| About Author |
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An experienced writer and counselor in relationship management with 15 years of research and development on human relationships and emotions
Author of a renowned book, CRM: A Step-by-Step Approach, which is prescribed for graduate programs in 25 Indian universitiesSpeaks frequently on relationships, and his sessions are broadcast daily on Merina America 24-Hour Tamil Radio (www.merina.com)
Saha is very passionate about his idols, he practices what he writes.
To reach Saha Nathan:
Please e-mail him at saha_crm@yahoo.com or visit his Web site: http://www.thenewbeginningnow.com/
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Website: www.sahasworld.com
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